What does a Mum really want on Mother’s day?
It might seem a hype to many; a propaganda of gift industry to entice more and more people to run to a gift shop. The cards come in all sizes and colours; shouting loud from the display window that you must buy me if you really love your mum. A pressure on dad from kids to be mum for a day and take over her duties of getting the gifts on time, wrapping it up, keeping the surprise, making the breakfast and giving mum some rest.
The breakfast does come, so do the gifts. You go out to eat; no cooking, no fuss but what happens the next day? Phwe! A relief from husband that things are back to normal and the mum is ready to take over your post again. The kitchen is your best ate again, the laundry is waiting to be done and you wonder why you wasted a day and put things away when they could have been done a day before. Your greeting card is displayed proudly for a week until it starts to fall around places and you struggle to keep it off the hands of the toddler who is tempted to use it as a tool for game. Finally, you pick it and while most mums bin it , some will tuck it away in a drawer that is already overflowing with some other very important stuff and a very small percentage will actually file it away.
So was that the idea of a mother’s day? Who might have come up with this ingenious idea to celebrate motherhood and is this really the right way to celebrate it? What would you have done differently if you, a mother, were given a choice to define guidelines that would make this an actual celebration? This is what I wrote down. While my list may not be exhaustive but I do believe that this sums out what we mothers really want.
- I think this is one thing that we women crave for and to be frank, we truly deserve it. It’s not something we must beg for; it’s something that we have earned. A mother’s job is not defined by rules, it’s defined by love. She will do out of her way just out of love and that is what makes it so beautiful. All she needs is that even if it’s one day, the family should gather around and just tell her something about her through their eyes. Unlike a dad, a mother will always question her parenting. She will wonder and worry if she doing it right. And on Mother’s day, all she wants to know in plain simple words is what you really feel for her. No rhyme, no poetic message, no fake. Just your authentic true words coming straight from your heart.
Ideas to do this:
- Write a letter to your mum and take turns to say it without rush and hurry.
- Compile your memories and make a collage of your favourite moments with her.
- Compile your good times and just write down small things that she thinks you never notice but which have actually made an impact on you.
- Share the load:
- Now if the children are young the this responsibility comes on the dad to make a list of things that your wife does as a mother and then discuss with her how and where you could share her load not just for that day but forever. Even if it does not last as committed by you on that day, she will always appreciate and love that you thought of the idea to help or you noticed that she does do so many chores and gets tired.
If the children are a bit older then again, gather around the whole family and with light humour try to find ways that you could help the anchor of your family in many other ways without her screaming and shouting for help. Trust me; your gesture itself will give her the energy she needs to carry on.
- Show her the real beauty inside her:
- She has been so engrossed in being a mum that maybe she forgot that the woman in her needs nourishing as well. This day might be a time to help her realise how beautiful she really is. Give her a new definition of beauty. Tell her about her loving eyes, her soothing smile, her bubbly laugh and many other things that just make a mother so beautiful.
- Love, love and love:
- At the end all a mum needs is love. Lots and lots of it because that’s all she has in her heart to give you. She has held you close in her heart since a long time before you were born and all she yearns for is to be loved in your own special ways. A smile is morning will make her day, a surprise call may become one of the best memory, a 5 min just you and her time might be what will help her look forward to in life again.
A Mother’s day is not just a day to pamper her, it a day to remind you and the family that this person in your life is the one who silently worries, secretly wishes and constantly loves you unconditionally. A mother’s day is an opportunity for the whole family to get together and make her the priority; listen to her dreams and tell her that she has wings to fly higher and you all will support her in whatever ways you can. To tell her that she does not have to restrict herself because of her role as a mum, instead you and the family will find ways and mean to help her slowly rise higher in her life and help her find her place in her world.
This might just give you and your family and idea to make this a joint activity on Mothers day. Why not sit down and write down a letter to each other. Tell each other how important they are and make this Mothers day a FAMILY DAY.
Write down letters, collect pictures out of your phones and laptops, write funny moments that you all have shared, things that yo appreciate things that you love about each other compile a scrapbook of FAMILY MOMENTS.
We, at AUTHOR IN ME will help you preserve that memory by turning it into a book – IT’S ALL ABOUT OUR FAMILY
Just another Mum and the
CO-FOUNDER, AUTHOR IN ME